Can Tony and I get a break? Just once???? I swear every week it's something else, with my family, or his family, or his job, or something. We can never truly relax and enjoy what we have without something threatening it or taking the joy out of it. After all he's been through in his life, would it be asking too much for him to find a job that was permanent, that he could work 9-5 and come home and be with his family? With his son, whom he loves so much? I'm sorry, because I know this whole post is just going to be me ranting and raving, but sometimes this world is so tiresome and heartbreaking, I need to get it out of me.
Last year in the fall, Tony took a job working at Unisys because it paid twice what he was making and gave him the opportunity to pursue a creative career and type of work that he'd been longing to do. He was so excited, and I was so happy for him. He left a job where he'd basically built up the clientele and made that branch of the company he worked for the most profitable, and basically handed the position he was in to his friend. Who of course is now making more money than Tony was when he was there, and has a stable job. Unisys seemed like a great idea at first, but then you figure in the traffic - which is horrendous at times, and it started to look more bleak every day. On top of it, Tony finds out that Unisys is shutting down the area that he works for, and will be letting him go at the end of the summer. And now he can't seem to find a job anywhere in the industry that he loves so much. What kills me is that he's one of the most hardworking people I know, very creative and bright, and he can't find a job. I guess it's because that industry is so competitive, but I'm having a hard time accepting that no one would want him. And I'm annoyed because his friend at Unisys offered him this job he has now, and he has no where to go from there. Hindsight is always 20/20, but what worries me is that now that Tony has so little options, he's going to have to work for the union. And if that happens, I will probably never really see him again. He'll be working weekends, and nights, and since I work days, I'll be lucky to spend a few hours with him on the weekend. And it's breaking my heart, because I know how much he loves to spend time with his son, and now it seems like he won't have the opportunity to do that.
It's depressing. And I can't seem to stop crying about it. I just want him to be happy. I wish I could create a job for him at this point. We thought he had a job interview at Penn Video Network that was a slam dunk. The guy basically told him on his second interview that he was the most well rounded candidate, and really wanted him to have the job. And then we wait a month or so to find out that he didn't get it. I mean, what is that crap??? I'm so frustrated with life anymore. It's like every time you think you've got it made, it goes down the toilet again. For the last four years, I've had nothing but problems in my life. And for the last ten years, he's had nothing but problems in his. And for six months, we thought he was really going to start getting somewhere in his career, and now this. I can't tolerate it anymore. I know it sounds like I'm boohooing, but I love him and I love spending time with him, and I want to see him every day. Now who knows if I'll be lucky enough to say I spent 24 hours with him in one week. It's just not enough for me. Please, God, if you are out there, throw us something. Anything with more hope than this, because I know it will kill him inside if nothing turns up. And me for watching it happen.
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